days 13-16: eventful... with lots of eating.

COMPLETE waste of time.
dieting wise.
ive been just. ugh.
i annoy myself.


07.04.10
did you know its tick season?
i didnt. until july 4th.
it took me an hour to convince my communist mother to let me hang out.
and then i got to the park... and my friends were already down the street.
so i had to walk down there by myself... which i dont really mind.
but then... we had to go back.
most of the group got a ride.
but i volunteered to be one of the ones to walk...
[[more exercise... you know? haha.]]
and then i got there... and it took us 15 minutes to find the rest of us.
and that was all good. and we were finally chilling.
and then... one of the guys threw the rugby ball into the creek at the park.
i volunteered to get it.
i walk back out and sit down and...
TICK.
on my effing leg.
so i called my mother and got her to drive me home.
i got home... and where is the tick?
i dont see it... oh. its on my upper leg now... okay... cool.
it didnt even bite me and i left for no reason.
and then i really just wanted to leave the house.
so i got my parents to go to their friends house and bring me along.

07.05.10
my good friends and i had an old lady sleep over.
but before i left my mother yelled at me for an hour. of course.
i get there. and shes not at her house...
i sense a theme... right?
well shes down the street at the other girls house.
i go there and they're trying on clothes... and im like... okay.
i go downstairs and watch tv for a bit.
then we hobbled down the street.
made apple pie while painting our nails
[[old lady colors ofc.]]
and did water aerobics.
then we went to target, blockbuster, and then back.
then we watched i'll come running on demand.
then dating on demand. xP
then monk.
.... Zzzzzz.....

07.06.10
i got up after sleeping 5 hours.
went to the dentist.
[[MY TEETH ARE THROBBING.]]
went to chickfila. FML.
went to work.
had cake there cuz it was my boss's birthday.
got home. ate chocolate. sat around doing nothing.
went to dinner since it was my brothers bday.
[[longhorns. XP]]
and then i cleaned my room for like an hour.


IVE MADE A RESOLUTION::
i will no longer be an impediment on my parents lives.
when i can, i will clean my room, do my laundry, do my homework, and all that kinda shit so they dont bother me and i can do whatever the hell i want.
they dont need me, i dont need them.

also, 07.07.10 starts my two day kinda-fast.
i have a pool party on friday.
so im hoping to lose 2 pounds.
ill weigh myself in the morn.

later.

i just...

i just wanna be skinny.
i want to get the guys i want.
i want to be able to run as fast as i can for forever.
and NEVER come back.
i dont want to be left behind.
i want to feel comfortable in my own skin.
i want to turn people down instead of hoping for attention.

i am determined to get that.

i can lose 8 lbs before school starts.
that brings me to 148.
thats still awesome.
and i will get there.
i start now.

today is day 14, or 15 i suppose since its 1:27 am.
and i will get this.
its been two weeks.
and ive done nothing.
this is unacceptable.

see you on the skinny side.

thinspo!

day 12/42

07.02.10

imma do a separate blog for pictures. there are quite a bit.

i had a good day.
woke up at 4 pm. haha. (:

food:
-five pancake things ~150 cal
-bag of rice cakes ~770 cal
-eight sushi ~200 cal
-1/2 container raspberries ~075 cal
-hot chocolate ~100 cal

TOTAL: ~1395 cal

not that bad. i also walked around an swam quite a bit.
approx. -200cal.

went over to my friends house at 8.
we went walking to find out if our friend was back from his vacation.
im assuming he wasnt allowed out of the house.
so we went swimming in his neighborhood pool.
stole fudge and popsicles.
and set off fireworks.

good day? i think so.

days 10-11/42

ive been having a lot of bad days.

weighed myself at the gym...
between 154/155. i couldnt tell.

i dont feel good.
in fact i kinda feel fat.


06.30.10

i ate a lot.
i walked a bit.
i felt crushed.

so i sent four texts to this guy i like...
we used to like each other but we've been on off for 3 years.
and idk. i just want to finally know what it feels to be in a relationship with him.
... well, he didnt answer.
so i was like... okay... maybe his phone is... whatever.
so i called him from my friends phone
and he picked up... and then sofia died, like the dinosaurs.

i was just really sad.

so i ate a lot... my choice of munchie: fiber one bars. WRONG CHOICE.
too much fiber. xP




07.01.10

woke up to take my personal fitness post test.

came back. had chickfila ~ 700. xP

went to the gym. -200 cal.
walked back home. -100 cal.

hung around my house... and ate... and ate... and ate.
i guess im still sad.
i think my total today is around 1300.
-300 gives me 1000.

at 150, my friend and i decided we're gonna do something crazy.
well kinda... haha. im gonna "drunk text" ... that boy... ill call him jim.
and see if he answers. and then if he asks... i could be like. idk.
ill have to look more into this lol.

2-3 more pounds till shopping day! (:
i seriously need clothes... all my shorts keep falling off... and i dont have a belt.


im probably gonna go to sleep.
my eyes hurt...
and i dont want to start crying before i go to sleep.

good luck to everyone out there who is sad, lonely, or need someone.
i send luck and *hugs*

xo, sofia.