Sunday, January 31, 2010


i need to stop eating dairy products like cheese.
and start eating more veggies and fruits.

tomorrow my goal is to eat 5 servings.
i think thats a safe number.
along with 3 cups of green tea.
and 8 cups of water.

sleeping in the cld tonight to maybe burn some calories. (:
i did okay today.
but its a hopeless idea of going to gym over the weekend.
so it gonna be my goal to go 4 days this week.
my mother is tring to make me stop because im failig a class.
but no. i will go.
is not like shes home on weekdays anyway.


PS just thinking that i could be 138 lbs by summer.
and it makes me smile. (:

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Saturday, January 30, 2010

finally a bit of good.

my brother went to court yesterday after he got arrested a week or two ago.
and all he has to do is take drugclasses and hes good. (:
im sooo happy he didnt have to serve time.

AND i lost 3 lbs so far this week. (:
im gonna try to get some exercise in today.
and im going bowling tomorrow.
so yeah.
im almost back to my lowest weight just 3-5 lbs to go!

on thursday i went to the gym.
after burning around 300 calories at dance,
i burned 500 on the elliptical. :D

so im doing okay since wednesday. (:

sigh. what it would be like to be nturally skinny.

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Wednesday, January 27, 2010


bad day.
binged on ice cream, pretzels and ginger ale.
i probably drank that whole liter too.
kill me.

what i dont understand is why i cant stop myself.
there are professinal atheletes and models an actresses everywhere dieting.
so why cant i do it?
so since i binged i hav to punish myself.
so 200 crunches plus 40 sides, 75 pushups and 75 [[something for the legs]]
and tomorrow its 50 minutes on the elliptical no matter how tired i get.
im sick of this damn fat everywhere.

and summer is 16 weeks that mean i can only lose 32 lbs!
psh only. that would be fantasmic!
and so i have to get started now.
and now it is.
and imma set up an eating plan for tomorrow.

off to punishment,
best of luck to myself and other dieters.

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Sunday, January 24, 2010

gym time!

ive been focused on my weight for around 3 years now.
but in those three years ive managed to get from healthy.
to over weight.
to almost obese.
i dont look it though.
and thank evrything good no one tells me that i should stop eating.
other than my mother. :P
liekk when i told people my real weight they told me i was lying and that i actually weighed a lot less....
i was like... uhm no?

i went to the gym three times this week.
and i went to dance twice.
im trying to get into a schedule where i go to the gym fourtime a week, and i go to dance three times.
because now that my brother went to jail and we have to pay a lawyer a lot of money for his trial i feel sorry about wasting money for dance and going ice skating.
and stuff like that. oh and the gym membership i barely use.

im also startign a point system.
i found it on a pro ana site
but im gonna try it out anyway.
if i get at least 150 pts in a week.
i dont have to workout 6 days, only 4.
which means my weekends will be free. (:

i think my pants are getting looser.
but i may be delusional.

i just finished impulse by ellen hopkins.
it was a really good book, and the way she ended it was cool.
i definitly want to get identical but that will have to wait until i finish a walk in the woods by bill bryson. for ap english. :P


ps. i still havent weighed myself.
im kinda scared cuz i only go to the gym at night.
but i kinda have to cuz that is the only time i go.
or i need to convince my parents to buy a scale.
haha good luck to me on that one. :P

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Wednesday, January 13, 2010

why cant i just do it?

went to the doctor today.
for my knee.
apparently i need strong quads.
great. can you say thinder thighs.
i dont want to.

im 170.1 lb.
im going on an all veggie-fruit diet
for tomorrow.
then we'll see where we are.
well where i am.

i took a walk today.
burned around 180 calories.
thats like nothing :P.
i need to find something that burns more cals.

skipped jazz today.
going to hip hop tomorrow.
then i guess ill go to the gym.
and then i think i can walk home.
that would be cool.

listening to ke$ha.


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did nothing today.
but didnt eat that much.
i ate lunch.
it was strange.


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Tuesday, January 12, 2010


just boo.
fucked up my knee at ballet.
now im afraid to run.

i guess ill do elliptical tomorrow.
ill prob burn more calories anyway.

too much food.
ive gotten into the habit of not eating lunch.
i eat breakfast but no lunch.
probably bad.
but i hate packing lunches and school lunches have way too many cals.

off to take a cold shower. :P
then ill open my window and try to fall asleep without my blanket.
[[35 F 8mph wind. not too shabby.]]


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Tuesday, January 5, 2010

today : i hate food.

i started today off not so good.
well good... then bad.
i went ice skating.
[[i used to be good then i got fat. :P]]
and then my brother brought me a donut. :P
so i skipped lunch.
and i mean i was really happy about it.
then after school i just ate and ate and ate.
i shouldnt have eaten after school.
that ruined it all.
i have to do a bootcamp vid tonight.
then imma do 100 crunches and 25 sides each.
its an upper body day anyway.
then imma take a cold shower/bath.

bye bye.

so i did all that.
and i decided tomorrow after dance
imma do cardio for 40 minutes.
then sauna for 15. (:
detox. woot.
and after english hw im gonna reread the thinspo tips and tricks.
and see what i can do.

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tiny tiny legs. :P

Monday, January 4, 2010

and i start anew.

im gonna do a workout video right now.
its like 11 minutes long.
and thenim gonna sit down to a cold bath.
ive been eating like shit.
and im starting a bootcamp today.

nothing to really talk about.

didthe bootcamp vid.
and it was awful.
like im so out of shape i could barely do it.

i tried to take the cold bath. but that didnt work out.
buti sat in there for 5 minutes.
then took a hot shower for like 5 minutes.
and then took a cold shower for around 15.
now im sitting heretyping in my underwear and a tshirt hoping no one come in and think im a freak.

the bootcamp im doing is a video everyday.
then plus 30 minutes of cardio.
ive done it before.
but i havent stuck to it.
but im determined this time!

im downloading legend of the seeker.
for some reason i find it extreamly intriguing.

.... Pictures, Images and Photos
i wish my legs were that tiny! :P
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Friday, January 1, 2010

new year. woot.

my resolution:
do/try 5 new things.

eaten like shit the past couple days.
gonna get healthy this year.
its just gonna happen.
gonna work on my thinspo book.
reada bit.
and yeah.
idk if i wanna go to sleep tonight.


no thinspo today.
too tired. :P