blah.

did bad today.
big lunch AND big dinner.
kill me now.
i have posting this though, because i feel like such a disappointment to you guys.
but... i dont really have anyone else to tell.
i had around 1600.
and anyone else would say thats "normal"
what the hell is normal anyway?

new rules:
1. i hate pizza.
2. i hate chocolate.
3. i hate fries.
4. i hate cookies.
5. i hate chips.
... i think thats it.
those are the foods i normally binge on.
but never again!... i hope.

even though ive been having bad days recently... ive found a gap inbetween my legs that i never noticed before... makes me kinda proud that all those days i used to spend hungry didnt torture me for no reason. and if i did it once i can do it again.

while binging today i heard a voice in my head... it was saying not to eat... at least only eat the strawberries... stop!... but it was so tiny... i couldnt hear it after i shoved all that food in my mouth.

and now i feel nauseous... and my dad made steak which is REALLY REALLY gross [im a vegetarian] and it just makes me feel even worse... and now my heart hurts... and damn, im just full of complaints.

tomorrow will be better. i promise all of you.
i will not disappoint you.