Tuesday, October 26, 2010

blah.

did bad today.
big lunch AND big dinner.
kill me now.
i have posting this though, because i feel like such a disappointment to you guys.
but... i dont really have anyone else to tell.
i had around 1600.
and anyone else would say thats "normal"
what the hell is normal anyway?

new rules:
1. i hate pizza.
2. i hate chocolate.
3. i hate fries.
4. i hate cookies.
5. i hate chips.
... i think thats it.
those are the foods i normally binge on.
but never again!... i hope.

even though ive been having bad days recently... ive found a gap inbetween my legs that i never noticed before... makes me kinda proud that all those days i used to spend hungry didnt torture me for no reason. and if i did it once i can do it again.

while binging today i heard a voice in my head... it was saying not to eat... at least only eat the strawberries... stop!... but it was so tiny... i couldnt hear it after i shoved all that food in my mouth.

and now i feel nauseous... and my dad made steak which is REALLY REALLY gross [im a vegetarian] and it just makes me feel even worse... and now my heart hurts... and damn, im just full of complaints.

tomorrow will be better. i promise all of you.
i will not disappoint you.

5 comments:

  1. You know I'm never disappointed in you :)
    You'll do better next time, anyway; don't you worry your pretty little face.
    xxx Goodluck!

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  2. Your not a dissapointment love
    xx
    You will do much better next time, everyone has weak moments, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger
    xx GOODLUCK!!!
    stay strong

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  3. You can't disappoint us. <3 Tomorrow is always a new beginning.
    xoxo

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  4. Don't worry, everybody gets bad days. Just keep a thought in your mind of how thin you want to be/how much weight you've lost so far everytime you look at your binge food x

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  5. Not disappointed at all, my dear.
    It's encouraging to know that all of us slip up sometimes. Like I did last night.
    I'm back on track today, and you'll be back on track tomorrow! Look past this - think of all the weight you'll lose tomorrow <3
    Stay superstrong <3

    -Molly

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thank you for being lovely today.