Tuesday, December 7, 2010

i just felt like it.

so i binged... it was kinda like it was on purpose...
kinda... maybe i wanted to starve?
i will never understand my own mind.
i knew i would when i bought those chocolate covered pretzels at the store.
i knew i would, and yet i still bought them.

0 hours down, 41 to go.
730pm 12/5 - 1230 pm 12/7
(i can eat lunch on tuesday, fabulous...
and i cant binge at school!!! ahh yayy!)
[[738pm 11/5]]
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138 this morning,
137.5 just now.
i have ballet today,
and then a study sesh for calc with friends.
so thats exercise... then coffee... woot!

i wanted to go to pilates at 8, but thats when we're studying.
and i NEED a good grade.
so perhaps ill go for a run when i get back.

i went for a jog last night,
2.5 miles in 35 minutes.
not too bad, because it was just after i ate a lot,
and i felt sick the entire time and couldnt stop coughing,
but hey, why complain when ill get results.

i hope to hit 136 at the end of this fast.
135 would be ideal, but whatever.

22 hours down, 19 to go.
[[517pm 11/6]]
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i hate being the fattest one in the room.
i went to ballet today,
i thought i looked quite nice,
thinner and such... ha ha ha.
i fooled myself.
im a fucking fatass.

fuck this.

26 hours down, 15 to go.
[[915pm 11/6]]
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i fell asleep at 1030 pm because i was so tired,
who knew not eating could take such a toll on me.

but now it is 3 am,
and i am 136... yay!

so maybe ill be lower when i wake again?
i must do calculus.

31.5 hours down, 9.5 to go.

[[305am 11/7]]
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i would just like all of you to know,
im craving pizza like no other. :P
its disgusting.

33 hours down, 8 to go.

[[433 am 11/7]]
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this morning i weighed in at 136,
got my goal.
ill write another post later,
but i must be off.

[[423pm 11/7]]

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thank you for being lovely today.